The Spider's Sitter
by AficionadoAvacado
Summary: Peter and his babysitter, Carol Danvers, have a heart to heart about recent events Warning - Endgame Spoilers


Being an Avenger wasn't something that I had ever planned, let alone expected. It just kinda happened after being bitten by that spider and swinging around New York, saving the day here and there. Keeping at that for a few years somehow got me noticed by Tony, who came along and asked if I wanted to come and help the 'good guys', but man did that line ever end up being fuzzy. I ended up joining sides with _the _Iron Man, did some more swinging in an airport, made a few references, and had a semi-decent time. It stopped being decent when I realized how serious everything actually was. How Cap and Tony were feuding, how people were actually being hurt.

It was sobering to see all of those heroes at each other's throats. It reminded me of an old movie where people had their bodies taken over by aliens, but our fighting wasn't forced. It was just our choice. That small war between heroes ended up teaching me to step back and realize what I was fighting for _before_ I fought for it.

That lesson came in handy when Vulture started to steal and sell Chitauri weapons in New York. When Tony gave me that first suit, I decided that I would fight for him, _and _that I would fight to be like him. But I didn't need to be like him. I needed to fight to be like me. I wasn't going to be "Iron Spider-Man, Iron Man's Sidekick." I was going to be _Spider-Man._

And then Thanos came along.

I can't lie, Thanos… Thanos hurt me a lot. Not only did he beat the ever loving _shit _out of all of us on Titan, he won. Being disintegrated was one of the scariest and strangest feelings I've ever had to experience. It felt like all of me was just… stopping. Like I wasn't existing anymore. The existential terror was as bad as it sounds.

But all the while, Tony was right there. He held me as I, well, died. I felt so, so horrible for failing him. We had almost won. Maybe if I had pulled harder on the Gauntlet, or if I had activated the instant kill mode on the second suit Tony had given me... Maybe then he'd still be here.

_That's enough introspection for now._

I sighed out loud while sitting on a couch at Stark Tower, flipping the T.V. to something other than a news story about everyone coming back. It was, and always will be, a bittersweet thing. More sweet than bitter since, y'know, everyone came back, but still. Aunt May was absolutely overjoyed at seeing me, and Ned had an almost scary level of admiration for me now. Which was kind of understandable, honestly.

I looked out the massive window connected to the landing deck of the skyscraper, watching as cars drove through New York. Even after five years and half of live being wiped out in the universe, New York had barely changed. The same taxi driver's, the same restaurants, the same everything. Life was starting to get back to normal.

"Hey kiddo, you feeling alright?" I heard the sweet voice of someone behind me, leaning over the back of the couch. I turned to the left and saw her. _The_ Captain Marvel, otherwise known as Carol Danvers. Her short, styled hair was swept back, giving me the perfect view of her soft gaze. Looking into her eyes was heartwarming, and made my pulse quicken almost as much as it did when she first saved me when we fought Thanos together.

"U-uh, yeah. Y-yeah I'm doin' great! Never better, really." I could tell Carol didn't believe me, and I'm sure the higher pitch of my nervous voice didn't do anything for me. She gave me one of those, "come on now" looks before walking around to the front of the couch and plopping down next to me.

"Come on, Pete. You can talk to me. I know I'm just your babysitter until everyone gets back from more interviews and damage control, but I can tell things have been rough for you." Her features softened and she scooted closer to me, setting a hand on my shoulder. The touch made my cheeks flush, which felt ridiculous.

_She's just another woman, Peter. Just a highly attractive, totally badass woman who saved your life. Don't be weird about anything, just act like you did when you first met Natasha._

I cleared my throat and looked to Carol, still loving the short hair style and full lips she was sporting. Her nose was the perfect kind of cute, matching her angular chin. Her cheeks rounded out her face nicely, looking like they'd be perfect to hold in my hands.

At that point I noticed I had been staring for _way_ too long and looked away, but not before seeing Carol's warm smile. Her hand squeezed my shoulder affectionately before she stood up, offering the same hand to me.

"Let's go, kiddo. If I'm your babysitter then I better start acting like it. Wanna play a game? Make something to eat? Or do some arts and crafts?" Carol laughed a bit, which helped to make me smile. Even her giggles were charming. I took her hand and stood up from my spot on the couch, looking up at the taller woman.

"Making macaroni art sounds a bit out of style," I commented. Her grin was worth every tease I had started to get from the other Avengers about my sudden crush. "Using the macaroni to make dinner instead, though. Now that sounds like an idea." Carol squeezed my hand before leading us out of the main observatory room and into the hall before finally pushing open a swinging door. The room on the other side was a decent sized kitchen with pots and pans hanging from the wall. A stove and oven sat just a bit away from the refrigerator, giving the chefs of the day room to chop and prepare any dishes they needed.

"I'll get started on the macaroni. You, Mr. Peter Parker, can surprise me." Carol ruffled the already messy mop of brown hair on my head and walked to the counter, grabbing an iron pot and beginning the process of making our noodles. I was left standing there for a moment, thinking through what I could make, before moving for the fridge. My mind was absolutely blank until I opened the door to the fridge and found some onions and peppers in one of the drawers.

"Surprises incoming Miss Danvers." I smirked triumphantly before grabbing a skillet, some butter, and various other implements and ingredients I'd need for sauteed vegetables. My hands quickly began the process of deseeding the peppers and chopping the onions into smaller bits, blending it all together into the buttered skillet. My enhanced reflexes and agility not only did wonders for beating up bad guys, but they made my cooking and preparation skills on par with an experienced sushi chef.

At least if I had the knowledge of how to be a sushi chef. Most of my powers had been focused on punching, kicking and flipping, not deseeding, chopping, and dicing. I still got along well enough to challenge your grandmother to a cook off, don't get me wrong. The occasional laugh from Carol when I missed a chop or dice because of my watery eyes was always welcome, her own special flair to macaroni and cheese smelling heavenly. Soon enough our respective dishes had come to a idle point, both of us occasionally stirring our meals.

Carol looked over to me and bumped her hip against mine. "So Peter Parker, am I doing a decent job here?" Carol tilted her head a bit, a lock of her hair falling into her face. She blew air up at it to move it, then tucked it back up with the rest of her golden hair.

I bumped my hip back against hers, my own landing just a bit shorter due to our height difference. "You're doing great Miss Marvel, ma'am. That macaroni smells wonderful." Carol beamed at me before tussling my hair once more.

"I'm happy to hear it, Pete. It should be done in just another minute or two though. What about your little dicing project? I hope it tastes as good as it looks." The thought of burning the vegetables entered my mind, along with how ruining Aunt May and I's dinner one night earned me a kitchen ban for two weeks.

"So do I," I muttered before speaking up. "Should be done at about the same time." Sure enough, a few minutes later and Carol and I were back in the main room eating macaroni and vegetables. She somehow made the noodles taste even better than Aunt May's, going as far as to use the macaroni shaped like seashells. A random game show was on the television while we sat and ate together, letting the meal pass in relative silence.

"You did a great job, Peter. I love the peppers." Carol looked over and grinned at me before taking another bite of our blended dish. I could feel my face getting hot at her compliment, a happy chuckle coming out of nowhere.

"T-thanks, Macaroni. You're Carol is great." I smiled at her for a moment before realizing what I said, the look on sly amusement on Carol's face only making me blush harder. "I-I mean your Macaroni is great. Not you're Carol, b-but I don't mean you're not great! You're awesome, really, I just meant to say-"

Carol cut me off with a laugh, her hand moving to my knee. "I know what you meant, silly boy. You're fine. Thank you, I'm glad you like my macaroni and my Carol-ness." She finished off with a wink, which made my heart flutter. I let out a nervous laugh and smiled at her, hoping that my awkwardness didn't throw her off.

Soon enough, dinner was done and the city scape outside was getting dark. Our plates were sitting on the table in front of us, the Avenger's logo proudly standing out. Looking at it for too long made my heart hurt, so I turned back to the television instead. Carol was more invested in the show than myself it seemed, because all I could think about was the room we were sitting in. How Tony used to work here, relax here, be at home here. I missed him more than I could handle on my own.

I glanced over at Carol, who was sitting on the other side of the couch with her legs crossed. My eyes looked to the floor before I turned my head to her, opening my mouth to ask her a question. No words came out, my mind going blank on what I could ask. I wanted to talk about Tony and what would happen next, but I couldn't process what words I needed to say. Everytime I tried, a knot would form in my throat and my eyes would water, leaving me speechless for a moment.

Carol saw the entire thing, I know. Her hand patted her lap a few times, letting me know it was okay. My body tilted over and I rested my head on her legs, now laying down on the couch. Her fingers played with my hair while I wracked my mind for what to say, none of the thoughts connecting well enough to form a sentence.

"I know how you feel Peter. That confusion and hurt. I've experienced it before, when I found out who I really was after 'losing' my memory." Carol had unexpected venom in her words, but her tone remained soft and comforting. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. If you just can't think of what to say, that's okay too. What you're feeling is normal, Peter." Hearing that is what pushed me over the edge, tears welling in my eyes and starting to slide down my cheeks.

Carol kept playing with my hair, running her fingers through one section before rubbing another. It was comforting, and I couldn't appreciate it more. Her gentle words and caring support made crying feel okay. I had been keeping it in, knowing it wasn't healthy, but not knowing who else I could go to. Aunt May could maybe understand, but Ned was still in awe, all the Avengers were busy or too distraught themselves, and Happy was too preoccupied trying to fix Tony's affairs.

That left my 'babysitter', otherwise known as _the Captain Marvel_, to comfort me. And my god she was doing a great job. I'm sure I was soaking her jeans at this point, but the built up tears, anxiety, and sadness just poured out. Hearing someone say it was okay to cry broke down the wall. Tony was the main reason for my hurting, but all of my failures weighed down on me as well. Not being able to save everyone, hell even just one person, destroyed my conscience. Not being able to hold back Thanos. Not being able to save that ship from being destroyed _without _Tony, and his disappointment with me afterwards. Time and time again I'd mess up and someone, or everyone, would get hurt.

"It's okay Peter. You've done your best." Carol leaned down and planted a kiss on my head, still running a hand through my hair. Her other one moved down to rub my back as I cried on her, shaky breaths and gentle sobs wracking my body. "That's all anyone can ask of you. Do your best, and it's never your fault. Thanos wasn't your fault. Tony wasn't your fault." Her gentle whispers soothed my soul, calmed my conscience, and helped my tears. It wasn't enough, of course. It never would be enough. But it was something.

A box of tissues appeared in front of me with Carol's hand attached. I took one and wiped my face, then took a few more to finish the job. Her hand started to rub my back again after placing the tissue box on her other leg, letting me clean myself up a bit. Tears still slid down my cheeks every once in a while, but for the most part I was calming down.

"Thanks Carol," I whispered, my throat still plugged by that knot. I felt her tousle my hair again, making sure that it was an unruly mess beyond all repair until I had a shower.

"No problem, kiddo. I'm always here for you if you need me, even if I'm in space for whatever new reason I need to be there." I finally managed to look up at Carol, noticing her red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. I opened my mouth to ask her what was wrong, but was cut off. "Don't worry about me, Pete. We can talk about me later. We're worried about you right now." Her white-toothed grin poked back out at me, my hair being pushed back with a wave of her hand. Her fingers filtered through my locks, rubbing my roots as they passed through. The motion made me realize how tired I was, and how relaxed I had became while laying in Carol's lap. I covered my mouth to hold back a yawn, hoping that she wouldn't catch the smell of my macaroni and vegetable breath.

"Get some rest, Peter. I'll still be here in the morning. I need to see if your breakfast skills match your dinner ones, after all." We both let out a small laugh at that, the white noise of the television making my eyes droop even further. Carol leaned down one last time and placed her lips on my forehead, giving me a soft kiss before straightening out again. I'm sure she saw how red my face was, but I hoped she thought it was just from crying. I turned my head back in the direction of the television, letting my eyes finally close for the night.

Carol's words echoed in my head until I finally found the sleep I was looking for. Not everything was my fault. Not everyone could be saved. It hurt so much to admit it, but it was the truth. And even though it was the truth, I wasn't going to let that stop me from trying to help every person that needed it. I would do my damndest to not let another Tony happen. I would be there to stop every Thanos from reaching his goal. I would be Spider-Man, and I would make everyone proud. Especially Carol.


End file.
